In working with clients I'm often asked to help create, revise, or massage the marketing message on their web sites. I was sent a link to a story today (thanks Farwell) on just how bad the technology industry has gotten with the marketing language they use to describe their products and services. I found it particularly funny because I often have to work really hard to make sure that terms like "solution" and "experience" are not in my copy, or are at least kept to a bare minimum.

With the web being such a direct medium, combined with the increasing prevalence of traffic being driven through search engines (paid and organic) demands that marketers start to try and focus their language a bit more and stop wasting prospects time.

For example, when I am looking for some "accounting software" and I come to a software company's web site, please just tell me flat-out if you make "accounting software" or not. I don't care if the "experience" that your "solution" provides will allow me to "enhance" the efficiency of my entire "enterprise." That is meaningless BS.

Similarly, if you are a software company in East Jabrew, Minnesota with 15 employees you are not the "Global Leader" of anything. IBM is a "Global Leader." You are just a software company. You might be great at what you do - so focus on that. Don't try to convince customers that you are some sort of global super power. The average consumer is too smart to believe that...believe it or not.

If you like the article linked above, you should definitely check out the Web Economy Bullshit Generator
...a classic link from a bygone era.

I used to work at a "dot com" called e-Media. You probably could have guessed that it's not around anymore. However I came across these old product reviews from the bubble days online (Atlanta, e-Mediasphere) and I forwarded them to some former "e-Medians", which in turn started an email string of our favorite e-Media stories. It was then suggested that I put them online for all to share...so here they are. Needless to say, you had to be there...

• "Chief Legal Officer" opening .vbs virus email attachments not once but twice on his computer.


• "Yo, we got this shit we call "BAM!!!" - wanna buy it dawg???"


• The sales guy who, upon being fired by the VP of Sales, grabbed his personal file from the VP of Sales and ran down Elm Street with it. What a scene seeing the VP of Sales chase after him.


• Paying a local autobody shop about $700 per case and waiting about three weeks to get a neon green metal box.


• Granger's eye glasses being "sucked" off his face by the new toilets brought to you in company-spam style.


• No Christmas bonus other than the promise of coal.


• Playing Unreal Tournament and Age of Empires until 0100 in the morning. Then firing another employee because of it.


• The Juice with the white loafers.


• That clueless sales guy who got two laptops stolen in like three days.


• the fucking Chrysler building.


• Micro-marketing-meta-data or BAM3.


• Area 51 and "The Compound"


• Middle-management meetings with free Skittles.


• Company-wide email about the overpowering stench of raw sewage in the basement of the headquarters


• A fantastic archival piece from Hong.

Please share your own memories of the late great e1.com by adding a comment below...